Како да ја запреме детската хистерија само со едно прашање

Сите деца понекогаш се хистерични. Дали е возможно да се направи нешто или само треба да чекаме да порасне детето? Една мајка од Бразил го сподели својот рецепт, кој е едноставен и функционира.

„Јас не сум психолог ниту стручњак за детска хистерија, јас сум обична мајка на 5 годишна ќерка. Сепак, ми се чини дека ја пронајдов „формулата“ – како може брзо да се промени правецот на мислите кај детето кое почнува да прави скандал поради ситници – и истата сакам да ја споделам со вас.

Прво, малку за нашата лична историја

Мојата ќерка тргна во градинка и беше многу нервозна поради тоа. Велеше дека никогаш нема да може да се навикне на градинката. Дома исто така сè тргна наопаку: Алиса сè повеќе се лутеше и беше хистерична буквално за било што, за секоја ситница. Во градинката ме советуваа да одам кај детскиот психолог со надеж дека на тој начин ситуацијата ќе се нормализира.

Психологот навистина ни даде многу корисни совети, но еден беше едноставно фантастичен, а истовремено и едноставен. Сакам да ви раскажам за него.

Психологот ми рече дека на децата треба да им се овозможи да разберат – дека ние го уважуваме тоа што тие го чувствуваат.

Така, за време на кризата, без разлика на причината, треба да му се помогне на детето (тоа се работи со деца над 5 години) да размисли и сфати што се случува со него. На тој начин ние ги признаваме нивните чувства и истовремено им даваме можност да учествуваат во решавањето на проблемот, а при тоа ја запираме нивната хистерија.

Значи, ситуацијата е: детето е подготвено да започне скандал. Поводот не е битен – раката на куклата испаднала, време е да оди во кревет, домашната задача не е напишана и едноставно не сака да го прави она шт вие го барате. Го гледам детето во очи и со смирен глас го прашувам едно прашање:

Дали е тоа голем, среден или мал проблем?

Кога мојата ќерка започна да размислува за тоа што и се случува, тоа делуваше на неа просто на магичен начин, барем овде дома. Го поставувам ова прашање, таа одговара, и ние наоѓаме начин да се реши проблемот, а при тоа ќерката сама предлага каде да се бара решението.

Малиот проблем обично најлесно и најбрзо се решава. Некои од проблемите кои таа ги смета за „средни“ најверојатно ќе ги решиме, но не во истиот момент – тоа и помага да разбере дека постојат работи за кои е потребно време.

Ако проблемот е сериозен т.е. голем – тоа што вашето дете го смета за важно, дефинитивно не смее да се игнорира, па дури и ако навидум изгледа како чиста бесмислица – за тој проблем мора да се одвои малку повеќе време. Понекогаш е потребно да му помогнеме на детето да сфати дека во животот не оди сè баш така како што ние сакаме.

Еве еден неодамнешен случај кога овој метод совршено функционираше

Избираме облека за во училиште, Алиса обично многу внимава што ќе облече, особено кога надвор ќе застуди. Накратко, таа сакаше да ги облече своите омилени панталони, но тие беа ставени за перење. Веќе почна да се мурти кога ја прашав: „Алиса дали е тоа голем, среден или мал проблем?“

Таа ме погледна и тивко рече: „Мал“. Ние веќе знаевме дека малите проблеми лесно се решаваат. Ја прашав да предложи неколку варијанти за решавање на проблемот (знаев дека и треба време да размисли), а потоа таа рече: „Ќе изберам други панталони“. Јас велам: „Имаш неколку панталони од кои можеш да одбереш“.

Таа се насмевна и отиде да избере други панталони. Јас и честитав за тоа што можеше сама да го реши проблемот, бидејќи е важно да се пофали детето за она во што успеало, а тоа ќе стави точка на ситуацијата.

Не мислам дека постои магично стапче во однос на воспитувањето на децата. Да се одгледа детето, да се пројдат со него сите фази на развој – тоа е вистинска мисија. Да, понекогаш го избираме погрешниот пат, но тогаш треба да имаме мудрост да се свртиме и да пробаме некој друг начин.

По поминувањето низ многу хистерични ситуации со своето детете, конечно го видов светлото на крајот од тунелот и сакам да го споделам ова откритие  со другите родители. Се надевам дека и кај вас овој метод исто така ќе функционира.

Извор: econet.ru

Превод: Розета Паскали

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