Позитивно родителство: 8 совети да го воспитате детето на поубав начин

Како ефикасно да ги воспитувате децата? Ова прашање си го поставува на себеси секој родител кој знае колку тешко може да биде секојдневието со дете кое не е послушно. Дури и на оние најтрпеливите им се случува „да полудат“ во некои мемнти. Што да се прави?

На помош пристигнува позитивното родителство кое става акцент на взаемното почитување и користи позитивни инструкции. Се фокусира на учење наместо на казнување. Различни студии покажуваат дека употребата на овој начин на дисциплина има подобри резултати во однос на однесувањето на детето, емотивниот развој, академскиот успех и менталното здравје.

Еве 8 совети како да ги примените основите на позитивната дисциплина:

  • Фокусирајте се на причините за некое однесување

Секогаш постои причина за непослушноста на детето, иако таа може некогаш да биде и смешна за родителите. Но таа за детето е голема и затоатака и се однесува. Ако родителите можат да го решат тој проблем, дури и кога детето нема да го добие она што го сака, тоа ќе чувствува дека неговите потреби се задоволени и ќе може да продолжи понатаму без да биде немирен. Може да биде налутено но нема да биде непослушно ако почувствува дека го разбираат.

Познавањето на причината може да им помогне на родителите однапред да ја избегнат непослушноста. На пример, ако детето го удри својот брат или сестра бидејќи му ја зеле играчката, истото може да биде избегнато доколку децата ги научиме секогаш да прашаат пред да земат нешто од некого.

  • Применувајте нежна и непоколеблива дисциплина

Бидете нежни за да му покажете како и тоа да биде нежно со другите. Тоа учи од вас и ако вие се дерете или го нарекувате со погрдни имиња, тоа ќе научи дека тоа е нормално однесување кога некој е нервозен. Важи и обратното, ако родителот е нежен и му се обраќа на детето со почитување, тоа ќе го усвои таквиот начин на однесување како нормална реакција во некои тешки моменти. Ваквото однесување ќе му помогне и полесно да се смири, да биде разумно и порасположено за соработка. Нежноста не значи дека сте се откажале и дека му дозволувате на детето да прави што сака. Можете со цврст но нежен тон да му кажете на детето дека не може да го добие она што го сака. Нема потреба од дерење, употреба на злобен тон исл. Цврстото и смирено НЕ е многу ефектно.

  • Мислете на себеси

Одвојте време за себе секогаш кога тоа ви е потребно. Неизбежно е понекогаш родителите да чувствуваат замор, нервоза и да ги иритира детската непослушност. Ситуацијата решете ја така што кога ќе почувствувате напнатост, речете му на детето дека  ви е потребно малку време за да се смирите. Можете да отидете во друга соба додека не ви помине, вдишете длабоко и разбистрете ја главата. Ова ќе ви даде и малку време за да размислите подобро што да правите.

  • Бидете родител кој не казнува

Казната кај детето предизвикува огорченост, побуна и лутина. Таа често не може да го спречи лошото однесување а при тоа не го учи ни кое е доброто однесување. Позитивната дисциплина е поефикасна при смирувањето на детето. На пример, наместо да користите така наречен „тајм-аут“ како казна, употребето го само за да го одвоите детето од ситуацијата која го иритира. Целта е да биде на мирно и на сигурно место. Може да има омилена играчка со себе, може и да се мази со вас. Запамтете дека не е под казна. Кога ќе се смири, објаснете му што не било во ред и помогнете му следниот пат подобро да се однесува.

  • Бидете јасни, конзистентни и исполнете го кажаното

Одлучете и јасно објаснете му на дететокои се последиците од непослушноста пред да решите да го казните. Освен тоа, морате да бидете конзистентни во применувањето на одредени мерки, инаку ќе дојде до забуна. Детето ќе продолжи да ги испитува границите за да види што уште може да се случи. Да се исполни кажаното значи дека не треба да кажете нешто ако навистана не го мислите тоа и ако немате намера истото да го направите. Празните закани не служат за ништо.

  • Запознајте се со развојните фази за да знаете што да очекувате

Децата пред третата година не се доволно разумни затоа што сѐ уште не им е развиен делот од мозокот кој е одговорен за разбирање на последиците и за разумно расудување. За децата на оваа возраст подобро е да се користи пренасочување на вниманието на нешто друго отколку убедување и очекување дека тоа ќе ја разбере ситуацијата. На постарите деца ќе им помогнете да ги развијат своите когнитивни способности со објаснувања и нудење на избори.

  • Сѐ нека биде прилика за учење

Кога децата се доволно големи за да ја разберат ситуацијата (значи над три години), секоја непослушност или лошо однесување може да се претвори во важна животна лекција.

На пример, што ќе научи детето ако ја скрши играчката? Дека не може со неа повеќе да си игра. Ако некоја играчка не му се допаѓа веќе, може да ја даде на другите да уживаат со неа. Ако ја искршило играчката во нервоза, помогнете му да најде други начини на искалување на бесот. Поработете и на именување на чувствата, за да знае како да опише што чувствува (Лут сум затоа што…) итн. Вака му помагате да ги развие и своите комуникативни вештини.

  • Бидете трпеливи и не очајувајте

Позитивната дисциплина нема да донесе позитивни резултати преку ноќ. И не треба да биде целта брз резултат, туку со тек на време детето да научи кои се соодветни однесувања. Потребно е време бидејќи детето мора сѐ да види по неколку пати, па може да поминат недели и месеци. Но, кога ќе се случи промената во однесувањето на детето, ќе бидете горди а детето ќе усвои важни животни вештини.

Текст: Розета Паскали

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