Седум начини да се дистанцирате и заштитите од блиските луѓе кои се негативни

Понекогаш се случува токму човекот кој е погубен за вас да се наоѓа во вашето непосредно опкружување. Што да правите тогаш? Понекогаш тоа е многу блиска личност со која е многу тешко потполно да се прекине комуникацијата. Лесно е да се делат совети од типот: прекинете ги односите со токсичната мајка! Но, понекогаш и таквата мајка се сака и се жали. И не може да се отфрли. Можеби има психички проблеми или проблеми со здравјето. Не е лесно да се донесе таква одлука да се остави стар човек… Или проблематична колешка поради која посакувате да го напуштите работното место. Но тоа не е секогаш возможно, во тоа е работата. И јас тоа го разбирам, секако. Кога зборувам за методот на дистанцирање, тоа не значи бегство.

Може да се примени психолошко дистанцирање. Главно, треба систематски и методично да се применува и да се учи. Насочете го вниманието на оваа комуникација и често надгледувајте се себеси. Еве што треба да правите:

– Не иницирајте контакт. Не ги барајте, не им пишувајте, не ги канете на гости, не предлагајте средба први – секогаш кога е тоа можно. Честитајте им го празникот, дајте им поклон ако е тоа неопходно, но ништо повеќе од тоа. Не иницирајте комуникација.

– На таквите луѓе не им се жалете за своите проблеми, не си ја отварајте душата и не зборувајте за детаљи од својот живот. Бидејќи секој збор ќе биде употребен против вас. Тоа се случило веќе многу пати, и затоа не ја повторувајте истата грешка.

– Не разговарајте за трети лица. Бидејќи тогаш сами ќе патите – таквите луѓе ќе ги пренесат информациите, при тоа искривувајќи ги до непрепознатливост. Или пак ќе ве уценуваат со добиените информации, наговестувајќи го начинот на кој можат да ги искористат.

– Немојте ништо да позајмувате од таквите луѓе. Не позајмувате пари и не ги користете нивните услуги и помош, бидејќи така ќе влезете во должничко ропство од кое е многу тешко да се излезе.

– Не покажувајте емоции. Не водете долги разговори. Говорете јасно, претпазливо и малку. Следете го времето на контактот. Кислородот во балонот ќе трае извесно време, а потоа ќе се угушите!

– Не влегувајте во било какви спорови и дискусии. Збор по збор и ќе се најдете во замка. Нема да приметите како сте се впуштиле во таа борба, како сте се изнервирале и потоа сте станале виновни за сето тоа.

– Не ги поттикнувајте жалбите. Префрлете го разговорот на нешто друго на било кој начин. Веднаш најдете начин како да го прекинете таквиот разговор.

Овие методи треба да ги применуваме постојано од ден во ден. Ова е добар начин за дистанцирање. Температурата ќе опадне и притисокот во системот ќе се намали, фигуративно речено. Комуникацијата ќе продолжи, но вие ќе бидете емоционално надвор од опсегот. Тогаш е многу потешко да ве повредат. Целиот проблем е во тоа што човекот сам премногу се отвара и приближува, а потоа добива удар. Затоа, треба да се постигне потребната дистанца.

Понекогаш ваквата дистанца и проблематичниот човек го менува на подобро. Вообичаеното сценарио веќе го нема, храната е недостапна, а однесувањето е променето. На тој начин дистанцирањето е добро за двете страни. Со тоа се избегнува можноста за непријателство и судири.

Извор: https://zen.yandex.ru/media/anna_kiryanova/sem-sposobov-nabrat-distanciiu-i-uberechsia-ot-blizkogo-negativnogo-cheloveka-5ccd87c47ae9ed00b3a19d7b

Превод: Розета Паскали

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